LYHG Ep 08 | A Place to Belong

When you walk into your church building, how do you feel? Do you feel like you belong there?

Allison ponders why many people feel as if church is a place where they don’t feel welcome. She shares the insights of some of the Christians she knows on how they have felt at church and discussed what has helped them overcome these feelings. She points out things we can each do to not only help ourselves feel more included and accepted but how we can make a difference by loving others as we meet them where they are.

Note: Transcripts are automatically generated and therefore might occasionally have errors.

Hello, friends.

I’m so excited to be back with you guys today, recording a new episode.

0:24
I took a little bit of a break for the holidays.

And then, our family took a trip to Hawaii, aren’t break an amazing thing to just give us time to refresh.

And plus, it’s a new year.

So, I refresh and a restart and an opportunity to try new things.

0:40
That’s what this year is.

And I’ve got some really fun ideas for some episodes coming up.

Some really great things that I’m Excited to share with you.

Excluding today’s episode I’m titling.

Today’s episode a place to belong, haven’t we all spent a good part of our Lives looking for that place where we feel comfortable or we shall welcome, where we feel loved and accepted and that we belong in, it makes me think of that, Steam song from the TV show, Cheers, a place, where everybody knows your name and they’re always glad you came, why don’t we all Of a place like that or you show up.

1:20
You have friends there excited to see you, you completely feel accepted and welcomed.

Their the thing is, some people find those places very easily.

Others do not.

But there’s one place that I think no matter who you are.

1:38
You should always feel welcome accepted.

And as if you belong there and that places skirt The thing is not everybody feels that way.

Not everybody can walk into a chapel in, or into some form of religious building and feel as if they’re accepted, and that it’s okay.

1:58
That they’re, they’re often it’s a place where many people do not feel as if they belong, they feel uncomfortable, they feel as if they’re out of place or they’re not good enough or whatever, the Myriad of reasons are that a person could feel that way.

2:15
So, this is something, I’ve done a lot of thinking about it.

Something I’ve experienced in the past and I’ve learned a lot about it.

But I also have spoken with people of various faith and various situations about how they feel when they attend church.

2:30
And so, I want to share some of that with you today to hopefully give insights.

So that you might be able to find a way to feel more comfortable at church if you don’t and also how you can be.

One that can help, others, feel included, and safe.

2:49
We all have this idea as to what a churchgoer should be, but the fact is, every person has a potential to be a churchgoer.

I’ll be honest, I have some tattoos, I used to have multiple piercings in my ears.

3:08
I’ve had friends under Church in jeans, but the only thing that we’re asked to bring to church is a contrite heart and a willing spirit.

And that right there is one of the things that really breaks my heart.

3:24
Now, I don’t want to judge anybody else because I’ve made that mistake, I had this idea of what I thought, it meant to be a faith goer, but let’s turn to the prime example here.

Jesus Christ.

If there was a woman that went to a well, she was hated by her people, she had lived in sin and committed adultery.

3:47
It was living with a man that wasn’t her husband.

And she was a Samaritan which back then Jews and Samaritans avoided each other.

They really were not fans of each other.

And so she would go out of her way to go and get her water in the middle of the day.

4:06
When it was hot because less people were there, Jesus came to the well with his disciples nearby and he met this woman and he spoke with her and he shared Booth with her and I’m sure at first she was like, why is he Speaking with me because not only was she has Samaritan.

4:24
But again, she was somebody that was considered, unclean unpure, not good enough.

Now the saver didn’t just talk to her the saver.

Use this imperfect person to be a witness of him.

He testified that he was the Savior for the very first time that this woman, a woman that many of us probably would have been soldered unworthy, but her heart was pure, and he knew that she was the right.

4:54
One, if that woman were to enter church with you today.

What would you say to her or would you even talk to her or what would you think?

Consider that consider, would we accept her as she is.

But if somebody walked in covered with tattoos and piercings and was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, the maybe it was even a little bit dirty.

5:18
I remember when I was in college, I went to a ward.

There was a man, he was clean, but he was wearing jeans, and a shirt and being the young, not so bright person.

I was, that was my thoughts, like by, is he here in those clothes?

Those, I eventually got to know this young man and he ended up being a good friend of mine and I found out, he didn’t own any suits but he wanted to come to church.

5:41
So he wore the best that he had.

It was his very best.

I know there was a man in one of my words, who would come again in jeans and usually, our dirty work shirt found out that he had to work on Sunday mornings and he got up just in time to come to our church meetings.

5:59
And so that’s what he would wear so that he could be there.

I just want to Encourage each of you to consider how we treat and view the people in the buildings around us.

Who’s sitting bias in the Pew?

Every person has a story.

Everyone has a path that they’re walking on May, each of us be able to open ourselves to be welcoming and accepting and allowing every person to sit with us there.

6:24
They were all welcome at the table that there’s a chair for every person that wants to be there.

And so, it would be easy to understand why people like this Center to come.

Because they’re made to feel less.

But what about the person that’s sitting in the Pew looks just like you and me dressed in their Sunday.

6:41
Best with their dresses and their suit, their dies and still does not feel accepted or loved or that they belong.

My friend, shared a story about how there was a woman in her Ward, which is what we call the congregations in my faith.

6:58
And she noticed that she had some children and she was sure that one of her children had special needs.

She never said anything because I didn’t want to interfere.

She didn’t want to insert herself where she wasn’t wanted And then one week she took her young daughter into the mothers Lounge to work with her.

7:20
And then another mother came in a little bit later that needed to breastfeed her baby.

So, she gave up the chair.

She was sitting in.

So this one because it down, and as she was, exiting, the bathroom, this other mothers of the she had noticed with the special needs.

Child came into the bathroom and is the door.

7:37
Shut she could hear this woman crying And she kept debating, like I don’t want to interfere like, you know, is it gonna be awkward, right?

And awkward never easy, but she finally felt like she needed to go in and so when she finally was able to do that she gave this sister a hug and she Held her.

7:59
And this woman started to say, I don’t belong here.

I don’t belong here and my friend said, yes you do.

Yes you do.

She’s like, I hugged her in the spirit took over.

I told her firmly and without a doubt, if anyone didn’t belong it was definitely not her that we needed her and her continual trying and that her kids needed it.

8:20
She wanted to leave because the meeting was not fulfilling.

It was actually draining for her.

Have you ever felt that way you’re coming and that you’re fighting with your kids or that you’re not getting anything out of it or but you do belong?

There you do.

8:36
You are wanted.

I saw me going for a while recently because I have two special needs children myself and I was always worried that I was disrupting the people around me or I wasn’t getting anything out of it.

There have been weeks that I have attended and I have literally heard nothing.

8:56
Of the medians that I’m in.

And the main meeting I am working on my children and I can’t hear anything.

I go to my Sunday, School classes and my children, and the Children’s Program, and then they disrupt.

So then they bring them to me and then my children are sitting on my lap.

9:14
Well, I’m trying to listen, and I’m so worried that they’re just repeating those around me.

And I remember there was one Sunday that I was able to go by myself because my children were with my mother for the weekend.

And I went up to say the prayer, and when I came down a brother, in my ward said, oh, where are your daughters?

9:33
I noticed that something was different today and it took me a minute to figure it out, but I don’t hear the beautiful voices of your girls and I really miss it.

And I hope they’re okay.

And I wondered where they were, I almost started to ball because I felt that they were taking away from the meeting.

9:49
I felt that I was interfering and what I found was that that was a comfort to others.

I’ve had times where I haven’t felt comfortable, and some of my friends also vote this way.

And he said that they would spend part of the meeting in their car or in the mothers lounge around in the hallway because they didn’t feel right.

10:07
And that it was too hard to be there.

So as we’ve shared, there are many reasons that people haven’t felt comfortable church and you might have felt this way too.

But what we really need to talk about is what can we do about it?

How can we change things and make it better?

10:25
What is our part as an individual to help every person who enters into a chapel a church or a Sacred Space?

How can we help them feel?

Welcome accepted love and let them know that they belong.

10:43
It’s easy to point, the fingers and identify a problem.

It’s a whole lot harder to find a solution. and the more I thought about this, I wasn’t sure what to do, but then the answer came to me.

11:00
The answer is actually really simple.

The answer is Jesus.

I learned this week that the word worship actually means to emulate.

The when we say that we go to church to worship or were reading in our scriptures are worshiping God for worshipping Jesus Christ.

11:20
What that means is that we’re learning and we’re working to become like he was, we want to live our lives after the pattern that he set forth for us which is in the scriptures.

But wouldn’t it make sense that if we wanted to solve This poem we would turn our hearts and ask the question.

11:42
What would Jesus do?

And while that might sound a little cliche, really?

That’s the answer.

He is the answer to everything.

Jesus Christ, has invited all of us to come, as we are, he meets us where we are.

11:57
He loves us as we are now.

He doesn’t want us to stay there.

He wants to help us become better.

But no matter who the person was, he met them where they were, and he used them for all kinds of different purposes.

He had Matthew, who was a tax collector for the enemy.

12:16
He had the woman at the well, that we talked about earlier.

What about the Samaritan?

What about all these different people?

He came to pre.

He came to heal, he came to deliver.

He came to set free.

He taught us about Grace.

12:34
Do we go to the hospital when were well?

No, we go to be healed, maybe better.

So who do we find it Church?

The perfect people know.

It’s those that want to be better, it’s the imperfect ones.

12:55
It’s you it’s me.

One of my friends when I was asking about how she overcame.

I’m feeling uncomfortable at church.

She says, I am grateful to be at the place of my journey, where God’s voice is the one that matters most.

13:12
His invitation to know I belong.

And I am his carried me through the times.

I feel like I don’t belong and then I asked him to help me find and love others who may feel the same way.

That’s it.

It’s letting him be the reason we go.

I have very much felt the way others have, but like my friend, I’ve learned that when I go for my Father in heaven and for My Savior, Jesus Christ, that’s when I get the most out of church, that’s when I feel The most welcomed and I know that I belong, if you feel like you don’t belong there, get on your knees or just sit in the few and ask him like a father to help.

13:56
You see where your place is let his voice.

Be the one that you hear that drowns out the others, I know that sometimes that’s easier said than done.

But I testify to you today, that that’s what’s worked for me.

14:12
And when I started to struggle, I say a prayer my heart and he very quickly reassures me but I love the word that my friend said and then I asked him to help me find and love others who may feel the same.

It is easy to get wrapped up in life.

14:29
It’s easy when you have children or pollens and responsibilities or whatever it is that you have going on to get wrapped up in what you’re dealing with and to sometimes Miss.

What’s going on around you.

But the fact is, there’s one rule that we have and that is the spirit of the Holy Ghost that can guide and direct us know what it is.

14:55
We need to know, help us to see the things that we can’t or to know who needs us in the scriptures.

The Pure Love Of Christ.

The price love is often described by the word parity which is also me Means to serve.

15:13
We Love by serving and we serve and teaches us to love what is one way that we can love and Bill included is to find others who feel the same as we do and we let the spirit guide us to the right, people just like my friend said that she prays an ass that she can we let those people some of my very best friends have come through being served by Members of my church congregation.

15:44
They are the very best friends that I’ve ever had.

So what is the answer to this situation?

Jesus, it’s always Jesus.

We love like, he did.

We serve like he did, we accept like you did because the fact is if a guy has long hair or somebody comes in covered in tattoos or is dressed not necessarily on what we might consider.

16:12
Their best, we limit ourselves.

We limit them and instead we should open the doors wide and make room for every single person that wants to be there as we’re drawing to a close in this my challenge to each of you that are listening is to open your heart, open your mind, and open your spirit.

16:36
Those around you accept people as they are love people as they are and the Lord will guide you and direct you and you can be a tool in his hand to be that instrument that someone else might need right now.

Let’s start today, to make Church a safe place, a saving place, a welcoming place a place, where every person can feel that they belong.

17:04
Let’s stop.

I mean for someone else to fix it and start with ourselves.

And let’s invite Our Savior and the spirit is sit with us in this process to help us identify where we are needed at this time.

17:20
Who knows?

Maybe you will be the difference in someone else’s life and maybe they will be the difference that you need.

Let’s start the day that we all have a place where we can be alone.